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Life happens quickly. Just when you thought you finally got a good grasp of it, it finally slips ever so swiftly from your tightly closed little fingers. One last snap, one last moment, one last breath. And then it’s gone.

You never know when you’re gonna leave. Some inner unconscious part of you that you don’t have access to knows, but for the most part, you don’t. For the most part, the only thing you can really do is to live each and every moment that passes by as though it’s going to be the last. And that’s why there’s really no reason for you to dilly-dally on the things you don’t have the heart for.

I know it’s easy to veer off the path of the heart when you’re not there yet. I know it’s not easy holding on to a vision of an almost impossible dream. When you’re desperate for peanuts, I know you feel like grabbing on to every single thing that presents itself as an opportunity.

And yes, life isn’t stingy. Opportunities do abound. They’re there all around you and inside of you. There’s no question in that. The question is are you willing to ignore the things you know you weren’t meant for so you can hold tight to the things you absolutely know you were born for? Can you say no to every single thing that comes your way so you can make space for that one thing, that one dream, that one life that will inevitably show up once you’ve turned down all others?

That’s how it works for women like us, you see. All our lives, we’ve been taught that we shouldn’t ask for more. That what we’ve got is probably all we’re gonna get, so we better shut our smartmouth because there’s nothing more coming our way. That we’re not supposed to want more than what the world has allotted our place—because that’s just how the world works.

It’s been drilled into our heads over and over and over and over AND OVER again that life is harder for us simply because we’re a few or several shades darker. And the rest of the world still wants to keep drilling that into our heads, as if it hasn’t gone deep enough just yet.

So we tuck our breasts in. So we give in. So we say yes to the things we’d rather say no to because who’s to say there will be more things to say yes to in the future. Who’s to say this isn’t the last of the good but ultimately boring-as-fuck and soul-emptying things that are gonna come our way? There might be nothing else left for us, so maybe we should just take what’s being offered and learn to live with it for the rest of our lives.

You could do that and live an okay life on the outside while trying to suppress the misery you feel inside. Or you can stop buying into what the world wants us to believe about our ability to create lives that mean something to us.

The only thing that makes life harder for women like you and me is the belief that life is harder for women like you and me. And beliefs are flimsy. You simply have to choose to believe in one thing and un-believe in another. Sure, there are many people who stubbornly hold on to their beliefs and cause world wars because of it. But that’s because they’ve never been told that belief is a choice, in the same way that fear is a choice and love is a choice.

And you can choose to believe right now that life is easy for you. That life is happening for you. And that you can live a life that you actually want to live. But this belief entails rejecting all else. You have to put on your blinders and shut out everything else that tries to tell you otherwise. Everything, including the cold, hard facts of life that purport to prove your lack of access and ability to live a great life is true.

Refuse flat out to accept anything that doesn’t conform to what you know in your heart is the life that you were meant to live. Say no when you want to say no because you’re reserving your yeses for only the things that deserve a yes from you.

And you may say you don’t know what is and what’s not good for you, but you do know. Your inner being knows. Turn to that part of you and ask yourself. Does this feel expansive to me? Does it feel like I’m being drawn toward my dream life? Or do I feel like it’s just another shiny object meant to distract me away from it? Your Higher Self knows what’s up. She always does. You can’t go wrong when you listen to your Higher Self.

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