Here’s something no life coach will ever admit to you.
They’re playing with you. They might not know it but they’re playing with you. And the $11 billion self-improvement industry might not know it either but it’s playing with you.
It’s playing with your dreams and aspirations. It’s preying on your fears and doubts.
Because if they didn’t, they wouldn’t be able to make any money at all.
Here’s how the marketing process works.
First, they conduct their research on you. Not you as an individual, but you as their ideal customer avatar. They figure out what you like and don’t like. They learn about your biggest dreams and goals. And most of all, they look into your deepest, darkest fears. And they hook you in by telling you they can help you get rid of whatever’s scaring the hell out of you.
They write their marketing messages based on the one thing they believe will get you to buy: the promise that they’ll get rid of your most pressing problem for you.
And there is nothing wrong with that. Ultimately, there is nothing ever wrong in anything at all. Whatever’s going on in the moment is what is supposed to go on.
The world needs more people who can hold space for people as they go through their life’s problems.
But here’s what so many people who say they’re invested in their personal growth and development don’t often get.
We read books and buy courses and hire life coaches. And if we’re serious about becoming better versions of ourselves, we definitely see the improvement in our lives. We start to feel more secure in ourselves. We start to become more disciplined as we work toward our goals. And, most importantly, we start to see other people as the beautiful, wonderful, and magical beings that they truly are.
But that’s all these books and courses and coaching programs can really do. They give you a gentle nudge in the right direction. And the initial excitement can force you to take the very first step.
But it’s always up to you to make the decision. You chose to buy the book. You chose to hire a coach. And you chose to take the first step.
It will still be your choice when it comes to taking the second step and the third step and the one thousand and twenty-fourth step long after you’ve finished the book or the course.
And what many life coaches won’t tell you is that you actually didn’t really need them in the first place. You don’t need someone else to tell you what you need to do. You don’t need them to give you a fresh, new perspective on things.
Because the truth is your perspective has always been right all along. And with that, I mean the perspective of your Higher Self—that part of you that has always been and will always be in touch with the infinite source of wisdom and knowledge and unlimited perspectives.
They say waking up is a bitch. In many ways, that’s true. And in many other ways, that’s also not true.
It depends on what you believe in. Whatever you believe is always what’s true for you. And you can believe that the path to your dreams is blocked by troubles, in which case you’d believe that you need the services of an “expert” life coach to help you get through that.
And you can choose to believe the other way. That the path can be easy, the path can flow, if and only if you get out of the way and let the path take you to where you want to go.
Easy, huh? I know that’s not something people would like to have. It’s a shame to want things to come easy. Most of us would rather have things hard because then we can show the world we’ve had huge challenges to go through and have the scars and bruises to show for it.
No, don’t insist that you want things to be easy too.
If you did, you’d have quit looking to your coaches and mentors and gurus by now. And if you did, you’d have shut off the entire mad world trying to throw their two cents and life lessons at you all the time. And if you did, you’d finally be ditching the shit out of everything that doesn’t feel good to you when you drop in, listen to your heart, and ask what it really wants.
You know how to make it easy?
Throw out all your self-improvement books.
Quit all your success masterminds.
And go within. Ask yourself what you really, truly want. For some of us, that’s covered. We’ve done the going within. We’ve done the asking. We’ve actually heard the answers, only to have the answers drowned out again by the noise of the self-improvement industry sitting just outside the front door.
So, every day, ask yourself so that you remind yourself of the things that truly matter—the things that you know in your heart you actually, truly want in your life.
And every day, shut out everything and everyone else who tells you that you need to do this and you need to do that and, oh, don’t do that.
Because they have no idea what you want—no matter how good they’re copywriters are at convincing you that they know what you want.
And, more importantly, they have absolutely zero fucking clue how you can get what you want. Absolutely. They can throw all their fancy step-by-step strategies and proven techniques for “getting what you want” at you—and not without guilt-tripping you about how it’s not going to work if you don’t do it the right way—but they still will have no clue as to the Capital T Truth that only your heart can ever really discern.
That’s the only thing you have to hold on to—the truth that your heart wants you to know. It’s the truth that you need to live out in your everyday life, as though your very own existence depends on your willingness to do so. Because it does.
Every single day that goes by without you living out the truth in your heart is another 24 hours wasted listening to someone else’s truth, often cleaned up, touched up, and heavily edited to be commercially viable.
And every single day that you dilly-dally on paying attention to your heart and giving it what it really wants, you allow your fears to suck the life out of you. You give in to your doubts, the very same doubts that the gurus you look up to keep playing up to keep you paying for their books and courses and services.
Yes, not all coaches do that, but we’re not talking about all coaches. We’re only talking about the ones who have been trying to keep you in a loop so you keep coming back for more and more, always with a seemingly insatiable need to grow and explore and become more than you already are right now.
Truth? You don’t need to become more because you already are more than that. You already are everything. You are all.
And everything you really need to live a rich, happy life, you already have inside of you. There’s nothing anyone else can do for you that you can’t do for yourself in much better ways. There’s nobody who can hand you the long-lost secrets to life. And there’s no frakkin’ secret at all.
It’s all in there.
It’s all in you.
Go within. Drop in. Fall into yourself and you’ll find it waiting all these years for you.