What do you want?
What do you really want?
What’s the one thing you keep trying to forget? The one thing you try to convince yourself you shouldn’t want? The one thing you pretend doesn’t really matter, so you push it away, only to have it come back to you bigger, bolder, and much, much harder to ignore?
That, my friend, is what you need to go after.
It doesn’t make sense, does it? It doesn’t make sense that someone like you should go after something so big, so daunting, so seemingly impossible. You wonder why you even dared to dream in the first place since it’s not going to happen for you anyway. So you sigh and stare at your shoes, and tell yourself it’s better to have dreamed about it than to never have dreamed at all.
Yeah, but no.
That’s not how it works. No matter what the world tells you about how things work, most of what you’ve heard so far is wrong. Downright wrong. Utterly wrong. Contrary to what you’ve been told all your life, the world doesn’t favor the rich and famous. It favors those who believe they can.
So that’s what you need to be working on. You can throw your efforts at being rich and famous out the window because that’s not what you need to be putting your efforts on. What you need to work on is to develop belief, trust, and faith in yourself and the infinite goodness and power that you and I and the rest of the Universe are made of.
And the very first step in doing that is simple. You have to admit to yourself—just to yourself, you don’t have to climb to the roof and tell everyone about it—what you want. And it can seem simple enough, but simply admitting to yourself what you’ve really wanted all this time can be the hardest thing to do.
This is why so many people feel lost. They feel like lying to themselves as they live lives they know in their hearts they weren’t meant for but continue to live anyway. They tell the world they’re doing great, but they do the things they don’t have it in their hearts to do. All the while they start to nurture a kind of bitter resentment inside because, even though they know in their bones they’re not happy, they can’t get to admit that to themselves. Because somewhere along the way, they’ve been told that the one thing they really wanted in life was immature or ridiculous or wasn’t going to make them money.
You see where this is going? You can spend your entire life following a path that wasn’t meant for you until you realize just before your last breath you always had the option to take the path with your name on it. Or you can just decide right now to drop everything else and just very simply and finally acknowledge to yourself that you’re going after that thing you want the most.
Some people say, “I can’t do that. I don’t know what I want. Don’t force me into doing this. I need to figure it out first. Maybe I don’t want anything at all. Are you fine with that?” Yes, I’m fine with that, but if you really didn’t want anything at all, why aren’t you happy with your life right now? It’s possible to not want anything at all. In fact, it would be nice to not want anything at all. But here’s the difference between those who really don’t want anything at all and the people who are lying through their teeth. The latter ain’t happy at all.
Every time I hear people saying they don’t know what they want, I call bullshit. I just don’t believe that at all. I believe we all know what we want. If we were patient enough with ourselves to shut out the rest of the world and go through the muck that the monkey brain creates, we’d find it there sitting plainly in broad daylight and in the dark of the night. What we want is there and you simply have to acknowledge its existence or ignore it again and again until you can’t take it anymore.
Just to be clear, though. What you want isn’t always what you think you want. So often, we think what we want are physical things. Money. (Duh!) A relationship with a rich, handsome guy who loves us more than we love ourselves. (Warning bells!) A hot body you can flaunt at the beach or on Instagram. A nice car. A huge mansion. And maybe a private jet to take you around the world.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting all of that stuff. Only, most of the time, all of that stuff isn’t really what you want. Look at money, for example. Most of the time, money is just little pieces of metal. It’s not even gold or silver like coins from the old days were made of. And isn’t funny that money with a higher perceived value is actually just paper with special prints? And, as we move further into the 21st century and rely more and more on the Internet for our transactions with other people, money is quickly shedding its metal and paper forms and is showing up more and more as, well, dots on a screen. So when you say you want money, do you mean the coins, the paper, or the dots on a screen?
More often, what you really want isn’t any of that. What you really want is what money symbolizes for you, which can be anything. Money can symbolize the freedom to be, do, and have anything you want, without restrictions imposed by the outside world. It can symbolize security in the knowledge that you’re always taken care of and you never have to worry about putting food on the table again. Or it can symbolize a deeper connection with your infinite creative power, which by the way has created all the money in the world and all the money that is to come.
It’s the same for every single thing you want. It’s not actually the thing itself that you want, but what it represents. And often, these things we want represent bigger things that are all too often considered impossible to achieve. Freedom, for example. And never-ending security. And a deep connection with God. Who has the time for any of that when there are papers that need filing and dishes that need washing and legs that need waxing?
Look, I’ll tell you what you don’t have the time for. You don’t have time for wasting away the rest of your years on a life that you don’t really want to live. When your soul came to Earth in the form of a human baby, do you honestly think she planned on living a life designed entirely by someone else for someone else? No, she didn’t, which is exactly the reason why your days feel meaningless and your nights empty. You’re not supposed to live that way. You’re supposed to live your own life, the life that you chose to live.
And whatever form that life may take, it’s really not anyone else’s business at all. Because, to be frank, all those thoughts you have about what people would think about your life is the only thing that’s holding you back from going after what you really want. That and your own thoughts and beliefs about it.
What would life look like if you believed that people didn’t really care what you did with your life? Would you still slog your way through a 9-to-5 job you don’t want kissing up to a boss you know you’re smarter than? Or would you finally find the courage to throw your hands up in the air and say, “Fuck this shit. I came here to do what my soul wants me to do and that’s what I’m gonna do”?
I bet your ass you’d take the second option. So why don’t you? Because other people would stare and snigger behind their fingers as they laugh at what a fool you’re being? Or is it because you think they would do that? Whatever you think and believe is what’s true for you. Of course, as long as you think people are watching you fail, then that’s what’s going to happen. And as long as you don’t give a damn about what others are saying, then none of that’s going to matter—because they sure as hell have no power over what goes on in your life.
So, how about it? Are you finally going to get inside your room, slam the door shut, and hold the entire world at arm’s length as you finally listen to your heart and ask yourself what it truly, truly, truly wants? Or will you continue giving your life away to a cause that drains the life out of you? Whatever you believe in is your truth. And whatever you choose, just remember that it’s your entire freakin’ life hanging in the balance. Choose what’s best for you.